


After the Storm

by gunslingaaahhh



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-14
Updated: 2011-04-14
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunslingaaahhh/pseuds/gunslingaaahhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny finally lets go after the stress becomes too much; yet another coda to 1x20.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Storm

It doesn't matter what he does, how hard he tries, he can't shake the images. They play in his head, behind his eyes, over and over. It's a looped reel and he can't derail it in favor of a happier, more pleasant train of thought.

He feels the rope get taught as Steve falls, he sees the boulder dislodge, he feels the rope skim through his hands fire-fast and burning his palms. His heart is in his throat, lungs expanding but not getting the oxygen they need, eyes huge and darting about.

There is Steve, face down, not moving, and it's like Danny's nervous system has superimposed itself over Steve's, because he can _feel it_ , feel the crunch of the dirt and gravel beneath his skin, the throbbing pain in his skull from the boulder, the grated edges where his flesh has been torn. There is a blinding pain underneath and above and in the center, though, radiating out from the arm crushed beneath. Danny has been lucky to have never broken a bone, and yet his brain knows what that should feel like, communicates it with him.

He rolls over in the bed, grimacing and wrapping his arms tighter around himself. Steve declared it an official day off, and it was well deserved. Kono and Chin had needed the time with their family, Steve needed to rest and Danny... Danny needed to wrap his head around whatever the fuck had gotten into him and nested within the confines of his subconscious.

Where to even begin with that? The overwhelming, totally paralyzing _fear_ from seeing Steve tumble ass-over-teakettle and almost go over a cliff; wave after wave of relief after hauling Steve back up and pulling him close so they are hip-to-hip; the warm, easy feeling of love spreading out from his chest as Steve is hauled up into the chopper to ride to the hospital, his own arms waving loose in the air in silent declaration.

The scene begins again and Danny cries out softly, one hand coming up to cover his face. He's barely holding it together, laying there in the dark alone. Nothing is keeping the pain at bay, the guilt, the aching need to yell and scream and throw things.

Bottom lip trembling, the first tears come silently, gliding across the bridge of his nose to spill onto the pillow. He hitches in a breath, hand still clamped over his eyes, and can't stop the keening, wailing sounds that are forcing themselves from his throat.

Danny can't deny the emotional turmoil anymore; the dam bursts and he's sobbing into his hands, curled up on his side, knees tugged to his chest.

It's difficult to not think about the what-ifs, and certain what-if thoughts lead to _other_ what-if thoughts, and some of those are unbearable.

 _What if the boulder had killed him?  
What if the fall had killed him?  
What if he'd kept right on falling, down and down and down?  
What if I'd tumbled after him?  
What if I'd died too and left Grace with Stan?_   
_What if he died before I got a chance to tell him everything?  
What if he died without knowing I love him?_

 __After a point it's too much and he screams, rolling onto his back and clutching at his head, fingers digging into his scalp. He's getting hysterical and he knows this, he can feel it tightening in his throat and constricting his chest, but he can't stop. Crying like this is supposed to be cathartic, but right now it feels like agony.

The noise he's making is thunderous, must sound like animals dying or something, because Danny never hears the door open and close softly. He doesn't hear the carpet-muffled footsteps, the silent gasps of shock, the rustle of hasty disrobing. He barely registers the mattress dipping to one side with added weight, isn't aware of anything until he feels one strong arm come across his chest and wrap around him. Fingers curl over his hip and tug, rolling him onto his other side and chest-to-chest with a warm, strong body.

He can feel the rough weave of Steve's cast between them, sucks in a wet breath around his bawling, but can't manage to say anything. He's too far gone for speech, just lets Steve's free hand rub soothing circles into his back while he continues to cry, getting it out of his system.

Steve stops after a point, feeling that Danny has finally gone to sleep. He should leave, now, he thinks, but is loathe to do so. Danny has insisted on sleeping over since the incident, parking himself in the spare bedroom. Steve only heard him freaking out by accident, having done downstairs to get something to drink.

He's glad it's dark in the room, that Danny didn't really see or hear him come in; he knows Danny, know the other man would be embarrassed to have someone see him like this, at his most vulnerable. He can feel that vulnerability still, even now that the smaller man is still and quiet, and it makes Steve clutch at him closer. There is no care for the fact that his broken arm is caught between them; that's what pain medication is for, right? So fuck it, he squeezes Danny close until they are almost flush.

Danny sleeps through the rest of the night, his mind mercifully blank. When he awakens, he finds Steve wrapped around him. He's taken aback, confused as to how that even happened, the fuck, but decides he doesn't care. He snuggles in, nuzzling at Steve's throat before drifting off again, feeling calmer than he has in what feels like years.

 __  
__


End file.
